Rainy Tuesday Afternoon

So in this post I will discuss a number of different things that have been on my mind:

A. My lack of motivation to exercise :(
 (but love of wearing workout clothes)

B. My friends fitness success

C. My friends traveling abroad

D. How much I wish a certain someone would move to Milwaukee

Good afternoon its 3:00 and I'm sitting at Alterra eating a grilled cheese and drinking an iced coffee. Don't judge me....I should also preface this post by saying I am not in the best mood because Jared got off work early and instead of making the most of his time to hang out in Milwaukee with me decided to stay in Pewaukee to go see "Despicable Me 2" with his brother. He will now not get here till 6:00pm. I know I know first world problems Megan-at least you have a boyfriend who does make time to drive down to see you I know....its just well...lets just jump to part D and address how much it bothers me that a certain someone doesn't live in Milwaukee. Its not just that I want him to move to be closer to me, (though I would be lying if I said I didn't want him closer) but if he was closer to school (UWM) I think maybe he might actually be more inclined to participate in more film stuff such as the Film Fraternity that does a lot of cool things...things he could put on his resume...I know I need to just focus/worry about myself missing out on opportunities or not (in theater) but I worry about him too because I care about him and want him to succeed in film in some way after graduation and no offense but staying Pewaukee is not going to get you the connections you need to build a career for yourself in film. Also I can't control the powers that be (aka his parents who make it ridiculously easy and comfortable to stay at home) End Rant.

Now going back to A... which goes along with B. Lately a lot of my good friends and acquaintances form high school have been doing a really great job of staying fit and working out and have lost a significant amount of weight since the last time I've seen them. Granted I largely know this from observing their rather proud but justified bragging posts on facebook....but anyways the point is it has got me thinking if they can do it why can't I? It only takes 3 weeks for your body to get use to a routine of anykind. My problem is I don't remember all the exercises to do and how to do them correctly and I don't like working out alone.

Sure we may have done circuit training hardcore for a half hour twice a week in school in the BFA last semester which taught us a bunch of exercises you don't even necessarily need to go to a gym for; but I can never remember all the exercises and how long your suppose to do them for if their not written down also I've only been to the UWM fitness center twice and I'm afraid to go by myself and am embarrassed to say I don't really know the ins and outs of how to get to the cardio room and rent a locker. Now I know these are all excuses..poor excuses but they are my excuses nonetheless and the reason for writing them out in this post is partially for myself to try to uncover my fears and excuses and lack of motivation and try to find a way to formulate them into babysteps of motivation and ACTUALLY WORK OUT. God knows I can wear my size *CRINGE* 12 lululemon yoga pants all I want and carry around my yoga mat and zafu but does it actually mean I am fit? Sadly... no. So hopefully even if I'm not in a routine yet of working out...hopefully by my next post I can say that I worked out and logged it for proof! Haha

Now finally to get to point C. Sorry this whole post was very scattered which is unlike me-Mrs. Chronological but thats just how my thoughts ended up spilling out. Part C that I wanted to vent about briefly and address is how all my friends seem to be traveling abroad. Weather they are studying abroad and actually getting credit for it, or just traveling because they can.

All I have to say is 1. THEY ARE BEYOND LUCKY & BLESSED and 2. HOW DO THEY PAY FOR IT ALL?!!! (Are mom and dad financing the trip? Did they get a scholarship or loan from school or what? because I know they can't afford it all on their own).

One friend in the BFA who is currently in Ireland told me right before she left when I was telling her how lucky and jealous I was:

"Well, I'm just very lucky to have amazing parents who support my dreams and passions. Because of them and a couple of student loans I took out I am able to go. Definitely wouldn't be doing this all on my own without their financial AND (key word here) emotional support"

Now I'm guessing thats how some of my other friends have traveled abroad this summer too. A photography friend to Paris for class credit, and some people from Luther traveling all over Europe for a summer music program....all very prestigious legit reasons. Reasons I can't hate on them for but can only be happy and proud of them for all their accomplishments and successes. But at the same time I can't help but mope and wonder as I'm starring at their selfies on facebook in front of the Eiffel Tower if I'll ever get their myself someday...weather for school or not!

Actually at this point in my undergrad education I have long abandoned the idea of studying abroad...because sadly it is just too much of a hassle financially trying to rope my parents into paying for it. Especially now that their in Canada. I have realized the cold hard truth that I will have to be partially like my friend in Ireland and take out some more loans on my own to try to make any sort of European trip a reality that or wait until I get older and date or marry someone with a more staid income than me. Both options that aren't really valid right now in my life.

*SIGH*

SO alas for now I will just have to settle for occasional visits to Vancouver, BC to visit my parents since that is the only internationally destination currently that my dad will still pay for roundtrip airfare.

So why not go to Vancouver this summer you may be asking? Well visiting the folks isn't as easy as it sounds and my current work and babysitting schedule is so scattered I don't really have any blocks of free time I could go visit for a week or more and make it worth while. However I just found out that my relatives from Atlanta are going to visit my parents NEXT summer and my dad said I should take off for then a year in advance haha...so I suppose I will be going back to Vancouver just not as soon as I had hoped...oh well gives me more time to get in shape right? ;) ;)

Seriously though I vowed I would go back to Vancouver in better shape because it really is an embarrassment to not be fit and live there. (hence my parents recent fitness and hiking craze)

Well I've now been here venting for over and hour and have long since finished my sandwich and coffee....also my computer is dying and I forgot my charger so I am going to stop here for now.

Till next time!

Peace & Love,
-Megan